Fade Into...

"Believe"

2008-08-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

This song is one of many on my current personal soundtrack.
Think about it.
Nothing would really be interesting without sound.
The tap of the rain against the window,
The thump of the base from a distance car,
A creak in the old wood floor -
Some people take advantage of this -
but our life soundtrack would not be complete without these sounds, they are our baselines. The music we create, expresses who we are - words are just another form of communication but not the only one. Ask a def person what they hear, they will tell you. They might now be able to hear the same way but everyone has a personal soundtrack. What's yours?

"Believe" By: The Bravery

The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do our time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for

There's a smell of stale fear that's reeking from our skins.
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and grow our roots into the floor
But what are we waiting for?

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

Oh

the over active imagination of an only child trying to find a job

2008-07-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

boy o boy .....I am about to drive to Wilmington and demand that someone give me a job. I know it won't be that easy but the visuals I get when I think of demanding a job crack me up. I believe it's an only child thing. We have very over active imaginations and I always think of the most extreme outcomes hahaha.
Here's what might happen when I enter one place of business:

" Give me a damn job, Please" I say*

The receptionist turns around to speak. She is currently nailing boards to the wall and trying to swat away a Compsognathus, a very small carnivorous dinosaur.
" Excuse me lady but a hurricane** is about to hit and all the dinosaurs were released by accident from our local Jurassic Park"

"Oh, well can I leave my resume anyway?" I ask

" Um sure, but watch out - a Velosaraptor was spotted in human resources and Betty isn't answering her phone"

" Oh dear, Poor Betty. Well I'll just leave my information with you then. Thanks and good luck with that Velosaraptor, I have heard they are mean lil fuckers"
I slowly inch towards the door, avoiding the Compsognathus. The receptionist shewed a few out but there was still one standing in the corner giving me the evil eye. I step outside, ducking to avoid a flying mailbox.

"Damn Hurricane"

_____________________________________________________________________

* I would never say give me a damn job, its just an effect for the story haha

** I always mention Hurricanes because North Carolina's ass sticks out into the ocean and its hurricane season and we are always watching for the next Fran, Bertha etc......

let go

2008-07-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

So here I sit, typing because I am at a creative loss. Not a creative hole that prevents me from entertaining readers ( what readers? I amuse myself by pretending that I do have viewers besides myself) but a blankness that prevents me from creating the most creative cover letter for a resume that anyone in the entire world can even imagine. ( how many times will I use a form of the word creative in this post?)
So much is swirling through my head, I can't keep it all straight. I just turned 26 and I seem to be running in place.
Ya know when your playing with younger kids and you grab the back of their shirt and they keep running and running. They just can't figure out why they aren't going anywhere. It's finally when you- yourself- lets out a slight giggle (admit it, it is quite amusing) and the child turns around and sees it's all because of YOU. You are the reason that they can't get anywhere because you are holding onto their shirt. So you release them and they run off to their destination, some run into a wall because they are trying so hard to get away - the momentum rockets them into the wall. But being kids, at least most I know, Get back up and run toward what they have their mind set on. Maybe its a juice box, or toy they want or they are thinking the new cat little makes great cookies because they saw how much the dog loves them. But they stopped running in place and ran forward to reached for what they wanted.
I have to figure out what metaphorical thing keeps hanging onto my shirt. Damnit! Let go already, I've had enough. The dog makes those cat littler cookies look good.
Now I have procrastinated for a little while. My creative juices are trickling. I need that creative cover letter to come to me. But as soon as I write the first line, my other mind worries haunt me and don't go away

Why Wanderlust?

2008-05-03T18:05:00.000-07:00


The Definition of a word I hold dear. *Wanderlust* I think it is because I'm an only child. I have an over active imagination and my mind wanders everywhere you could possibly imagine or not. I turn the life around me into a personal mind Film. ##If you were wondering the difference between a movie and a film- a movie is actually a film first and becomes a movie when the common consumer pays to see it.## I'm fascinated by differences of life and I could only wish that some of my favorite books were reality (except for a few because I really would not like to get eaten by a prehistoric great white shark, named Meg). It is commonly defined as a strong desire to travel, or, of having a strong desire to explore the world noun
**very strong or irresistible impulse to travel

**1902, from Ger. Wanderlust, lit. "desire for wandering"

**a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about